The Dear Departed

 The Dear Departed

Well, it’s one of those typical situations when life makes you think and make sudden decisions, you know. Like when a relative passes away, and beyond that sorrow you feel as a relative, you have a feeling of life being really useless – you feel nothing really matters in the end – till you get back to routine and work and domestic affairs again to realize what matters irrespective of what you thought just two days back!

But all my relatives are pretty good to go now – so I am not referring to that. I am talking about the only next closest possible incident in the line with the same effect on any human being – the loss of a phone – evidently I mean a mobile phone.

This is what happened. My sleek and beautiful Samsung Galaxy J7 Prime simply died. One moment I was putting it on mute and in my bag when going to office. Ten minutes later, on my desk, I realized it had passed out – not to be resuscitated by me or my very helpful male colleagues who tried all the options available in their inventory or on Google. The only sign of life was the periodically flickering light on the top right hand corner – the color of which I had hardly noticed till that point.

I realized I had to inform my family about this issue – big deal, I thought. I can call from my office landline. All of them knew the number – I hoped! I could finally make a handful of calls – some of them frantic because people won’t pick up my number – perhaps ignoring it as a marketing call. And then they knew my predicament – all sorted – right?

Not really. An hour went by till the magnitude of the problem struck me. All my work contacts were on phone. All my trainees – across the world – were on WhatsApp with me. All my team – across the world again – used WhatsApp for queries and other stuff. And I was not available on WhatsApp! And none of them knew why! They might just wonder what happened to me or to my employment – anything is possible! Hell, nooooooooo! I could see the entire communication system of my team collapsing. It was not even 12 noon by that time – and I had already started hyperventilating with the prospect.

Of course, I belong to the oldish school who basically used cell phones for calling people. But what with the thrust of technology, children, and work requirements, I use everything that is required for my daily existence with my phone. WhatsApp, work and personal emails, cabs, food apps, Instagram, Google Drive, camera, Sadhguru app – typically everything that most smartphones are used for. I know I know, it’s nothing great or worth bragging about. I managed without games for quite some months, but one evening, I downloaded Bubbleshooter, and I realized 3 weeks later that I had got addicted to it. So I uninstalled the game. That happens off and on even now – install and uninstall. Of course, I have now installed a slow paced farming game, where I am not compelled to play the next and the next level at a go. I do open it but only 20-25 times a day and sometimes not even once. That doesn’t qualify as addiction, right? See, it is important that one identifies the signs of addiction. In short, I am all good and wise when it comes to using my cell phone.

Therefore, what I found most irritating about the incident is that I started feeling empty and vocation-less by late noon. I am so used to checking the WhatsApp groups of all my team and of course my other groups for updates. You see, cursing some groups, which I have put on mute for a week, or others nonsensical posts by digitally illiterate people takes up some of my energy every day, not to mention some of my time. There are so many decision-making things - which videos or pics to download, whom to give cold shoulder, whom to respond immediately, whose messages to check repeatedly, which messages to pass on chatting versus which on official emails…. Once in a while, I check my food ordering app to see if there are interesting offers – I don’t order every day, mind you, but I have to keep a track obviously – some offers are really great! Phew, that is really a handful! No wonder I was feeling useless by 3.30 or 4!

I somehow spent the next two hours and rushed to the shop from where I bought the phone, after collecting its receipt from home – it is under warranty, much to my joy! Whatever happens now, I am not going to lose a rupee on this machine, I swore under my breath when the technician there was inspecting the phone from all possible angles, for what he only knew - or didn’t know. He pressed it so hard at corners, I thought the glass would break, but it didn’t. Then he declared calmly that the weird gadget was behaving totally abnormally (as if I didn’t know it) and it must be taken to the service center, which was obviously closed by that time. I wonder why they close such outlets by 7 pm. Must working men and women go there during the office time? WTF? Of course, the technician had left the counter the moment my outburst began, so I left.

By now, I had calmed down to an extent, and had realized I could manage things without the ghoul – I mean for one day, come on. My team wouldn’t be able to contact me on phone, so they will mail me or call on my landline – doesn’t matter. If the world had collapsed on any of my personal WhatsApp groups, Amen! I feel an internal peace as I hand over my precious gadget to my daughter for taking it to the service center, I could hear what she said in her head – now she will give me numerous instructions to be careful – keep the receipt safe; call me when you reach there; I can talk to that guy; don’t let them bully you; the customer is the king blahblahblahblahblah. So I simply clammed up. That was some hours ago.

I am not really nervous. She must have reached the shop, but she hasn’t called me yet; I check the landline receiver was kept properly. I wonder when she will call. What if this and that? Of course, I am working as usual. I am not thinking… only wondering what will happen to all the data… wondering when I will get the devil back… wondering if I lost on some of the game updates… wondering if I missed something important that a close friend told me on WA…

Who says a cell phone going kaput can give someone an anxiety attack? I am okay, right?